having a baby is such a massive life change that I’m hoping that these tips can provide some information for any new mothers or pregnant people out there , and I’m going to pretend that I’m writing this to myself .
massive a life change
eight years ago the first thing I wish I’d known is how massive a life change it is , you cannot imagine how much life is about to change but it is for the better and it will all be worth it , but when I had my first baby I think I found it quite hard that things like my social life and my career will kind of put on hold . things completely change I had a new set of mummy friends and I wasn’t at work every day and I ended up completely changing what I do for a living .
but I did want to say you will find the balance , after about 12 weeks you will get there , you’ll be in a flow with things and it will all calm down .
there is no expert on your baby except for you
the second thing that I wish I’d known and probably my most important point in this blog is there is no expert on your baby except for you ! what I mean by that is when I was pregnant with my first son I read so many parenting books, I like to have a bit of control by preparing myself and getting lots of information , and while that was helpful for some things ! when he arrived and he didn’t necessarily do all the things that they said he should do in a book ! I would beat myself up about it , but over the years I’ve learned that there is no book on your baby you are the only expert , you know them better than anyone and you need to trust your instincts and your gut feeling , there is so much to be said from others instincts , if something feels wrong it probably is and doctors even take mother’s instincts into consideration , if you take your baby to the doctor you’re like I just feel like something’s wrong ! they will actually do something about , they’ll trust you because it’s like a real thing and I also wanted to say that every baby is so different ! I have three boys , and even though they’re born looking like identical to each other , they are so different so just embrace their quirks , learn who they are , and accept them for it .
get your partner on board
the third thing is to get your partner on board with family rules my husband and I never sat down and had a discussion , we naturally are very similar in our parenting styles , but if you’re not , it is well worth sitting down talking about what you’re happy with , what you’re not happy with , because you really need to be a united in front of your children , you need to come across as a team and rules are so much stronger if you and your partner are on the same page .
get your baby into a routine
the fourth thing is to get your baby into a routine or schedule as soon as you possibly can , when we have a baby we normally start the routine at about 8 weeks old and that just means that we can sleep we have a little bit of sanity , and I guess I like to feel a little bit in control , I really liked being able to look at the clock and think : okay in an hour they’re gonna need a feed and then they’re gonna need to sleep and then they’re gonna need to change , in my head I just really liked knowing what was happening . and honestly if you want to have a good night’s sleep , a routine is so important
obsessed with baby naps
my fifth tip is going to contradict what I just said a little bit , but that is that naps are not the be-all and end-all , so when we had our first son I was obsessed with his naps , you know he had to self settle in his crib in his dark room on his own , we would miss days out and things like that , because I wanted to stick to his naps so much , and while that was great I got loads done as soon as he turned three, he stopped napping and I was like oh I did all that work and he doesn’t even ask anymore , so they do end . so I would say when it comes to naps just do what works for you . with my youngest I have had him nap at home because I work from home so I kind of need that but if we’re out one day and they fall asleep in the buggy or they fall asleep in the baby carrier it’s not a massive deal because naps are gonna end when they’re about three years old .
changing infant diaper stereotypes
a sixth thing is that changing a nappy , changing a diaper is no big deal and it’s actually a really nice bonding time , so many people crack jokes about whose turn it is to change a diaper , or how smelly their baby is , but I actually love it it’s a really nice time to chat to your baby blow raspberries on their tummy , tickle their feet , it’s a really nice time to bond so don’t even worry about it, and you will come to realize that poo we vomits it’s no big deal .
don’t be too hard on yourself parenting
the next one is don’t be too hard on yourself parenting , is really hard it’s emotionally draining it’s also exhausting and you can’t do it all , sometimes you will need a break , a 10-minute shower can make all the difference , a date night out with your husband can get you guys to connect again , so sometimes you will need a little break so don’t be afraid to accept help and don’t try to be superwoman , I think I tried to do that and you don’t get a medal for it like I should have three medals by now , I don’t have any so you know don’t worry about the housework so much if you have a baby that’s not very well , you’re gonna let the housework pile up because they’re more important now , so you know lower your standards you know you’re not gonna be the same as you were before you had a baby , and a massive tip on that is get the cleaner I didn’t get a cleaner until we had our third child and I think why didn’t I do this sooner ! it’s 30 pounds a week it is the best money I ever spend , I think I wanted to be like you know I can keep it all up I can do it all , I can juggle all these things but you know you don’t have to do that
get yourself a little first aid kit
number eight is to get yourself a little first aid kit , and make sure it’s stocked just in case in my experience my children can be absolutely fine all day long but then in the middle of the night and illness will strike and if I’m out of anything it’s very stressful , so just get things like a thermometer something to bring down a fever or to help them with pain and teething products as well and on that don’t ever be afraid to call the emergency services if you think you need to .
in the UK we have something called one-one-one which isn’t like emergency you can speak to a nurse or doctor and get information on how to deal with things but we have had to call an ambulance in the past when second boy was three he had croup really badly and I called more for advice but they heard him in the background and they sent an ambulance with oxygen within about two minutes so I don’t think even I realized how severe it was and we actually had to go to hospital everything , so yeah just go with your instinct
the ninth things I wish I’d known before I had a baby is that breastfeeding can actually be really hard when I was pregnant I was like I’m gonna have a baby and I’m gonna breastfeed and when it came to it , it’s actually quite difficult I was able to breastfeed for quite a long time, but I know how very lucky I am that that worked out for me , when it comes to breastfeeding there is a techniques , also get help as soon as you can don’t be afraid to get help because it isn’t a very simple natural thing that you think it might be
last thing , I wish I’d known before I had a baby is just how much love you would feel when you had a baby , it’s hard to explain if you’re not a parent , it’s it’s all-consuming it’s I think about them all the time , I want to protect them fiercely there was just such a huge amount of love , they’ve actually made me a little bit insane , because I love them so so much I have separation anxiety , I hate being away from them , they have made me a little bit crazy but you would just feel so much love and just enjoy it . I know this is really cliche and I know if you’re just about to have a baby you may not appreciate this but it goes so quickly so take too many photos video them all the time they change , and those early photos and videos are just so so precious right ,
that is it for this blog post I really hope you enjoyed it , don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter , I’ll see you in my next one